Accomplishing Something Here
by Kris1907
Summary: A John/Marlena tale during her amnesia storyline that went so very wrong. Was written in early 06, just making its way here. J/M take their first steps towards an understanding.


_Accomplishing Something Here_

"I remembered being in your arms." Marlena looks up at her husband as they continue to shift slowly to the music. His teary eyes cause a foreign wave of emotion to pass through her, "I felt safe. Safe and loved." The last word comes out as a soft whisper as she buries her face back into his neck and inhales deeply, forcing her mind to remember something- anything. "I just feel safe. Like nothing can ever harm me if I stay right here. Does-" Stepping back to look at him more fully, "Does that make any sense?"

Emotions interrupt his reply as the first words come out rough and causes John to clear his throat and begin again, "Yeah Doc. It does." Not trusting himself at the moment to say anything more, he simply pulls his wife back into his arms and continues the tracing small circles on the ballroom floor. He caresses his cheek against her hair and whispers, "You have no idea how- how good it is to hear you say that."

The music begins to die out as John takes in a deep breath and releases her from his arms, "Could we-" His gesture causes Marlena to look from him to the area that he is pointing out. Seeing the doors to the balcony, she stares at it before looking back at John with an unsure glance. Her head tilts and stray pieces of hair fall into her eyes. John reaches out and pushes them back behind her ear and smiles gently, "Just for a minute. I have something I'd like to tell you."

A simple nod is his answer as he begins to lead her towards the doors. He glances over his shoulder quickly as he opens the door for her, checking to see if Dr. North is watching or not.

Stepping out onto the balcony after her, he hears Marlena's comment, "It's a beautiful night, isn't it?"

"Yeah- been a perfect day."

Leaning against the railing, Marlena looks out over the trees and gardens, "Brady seems so happy. He really loves Chloe."

"Yeah, he deserves happiness. They both do- they've had a long hard road to fight."

"Because of her accident?"

John waits for her to turn around before responding, "Yes. That's one thing but there were other people in the way at times, misunderstandings, and even at one point, when Chloe was in her accident, Brady thought she was gone forever… so its been a long road." His eyes glaze over as memories of their past misunderstandings and time wasted invades his mind.

"John-" Marlena lightly caresses his cheek, "What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing." Covering her hand with his own, "I was just thinking… that description parallels our relationship as well. Well, I think we have more of everything, but I know how good it feels to finally win. Finally beat the odds and say those vows and I'm just so proud and happy for my boy."

She squeezes his hand before letting it go and stepping back, "I can see that."

"And I know he is very happy that you came. Wouldn't have been the same without you."

"Had to be here for the wedding pictures, remember?"

They share a laugh, as John rubs his face with his hands, "Yeah. We're going to have some great pictures to add to the piano." Silence fills the air as Marlena turns back to look at the garden, "Marlena, I'm sorry for being so forceful about you coming today. That's what I wanted to say, why I asked you out here. I didn't mean to push, but you already missed our daughter's wedding and I know how much that hurt you…" He steps behind her and gently rubs her shoulders. Leaning down, he whispers the rest in her ear, "I couldn't let you miss our son's as well. You would never forgive me for that." He feels the shiver that she was trying to suppress and instinctively, John begins to rub her arms a little more firmly, "I'm sorry Doc, you must be chilly, I didn't even think about the sun going down. Here- we can go back in now."

His hands begin to drop from her shoulders but her hands quickly cover his and keeps them firmly presses against her skin, "No, I'm okay. Was just that breeze, made me a little chilly, but I'd like to stay out here a little longer."

"Okay." John can't help but smile at the fact that she wishes to spend a little more time with him and the fact that she is leaning back into him also does not go unnoticed by him. "Okay then," He pulls away to take off his jacket, "Then you have to put this on- I'm not going to be the one in trouble for getting you sick." John helps Marlena slip her arms through the jacket as they both laugh at his comment.

"Guess that's fair." Turning to look at him, she twists from one side to the other to show off her new look, "How do I look? New fashion statement?"

Laughing with her, John whistles his approval and can't hold back the smile that graces his lips at her heartfelt laugh, "Mothers of the Groom everywhere are dying from envy. You're the only woman I know Dr. Black that can pull that look off with grace and beauty."

Marlena looks down and blushes at his comment, before smiling at him and turning back towards the garden, "The flowers are so bright. The colours are amazing."

"All the rain that we've had." John moves behind her. He doesn't touch her, but more simply allows his presence to be known, "Someone once told me that the gardens here can sense moods- or more so thrive on the moods of the community or person in charge of them. They wilt when life is chaotic and sad and just downright messy. And they thrive when things begin making sense and people are happy again and excited."

Looking over her shoulder, "Who told you that?"

Smiling, "You."

"I said something that dorky?"

John laughs at her expression of mock disgust, "Yeah, but it was right. You love these gardens and the ones in the park, but a few years ago they just died." He takes in a rough breath and attempts to keep his voice even, "The Salem murderer was killing so many people and we didn't know that it was just another Diemera trick and… you and I would walk in the park and you just missed your gardens so much. They didn't bloom last year either really, but this year, but this year with everybody back home…"

"Its beautiful." She wipes away a stray tear and leans back into his embrace. As John's arms surround her waist, she closes her eyes and lets the wind caress her face, "John."

"Hm?"

"Were Brady and I close?"

"Yes. Any particular reason that you ask?"

He can feel her shrug and slow breath as she attempts to collect her thoughts, "You just refer to Brady as our son and I as the mother of the groom, but I know that I'm not his mother."

"You are Doc. Brady grew up knowing that he has an angel mother that lives on a star and that she's watching over us all. He knows how to find the star and to feel Isabella's love for him. You are his mother on earth. You've been there since day one, loving him and protecting him. Even before we got together, he spent most of his childhood growing up at the penthouse with you and Belle." An astonished laugh leaves his lips and tickles her cheek as he thinks through just how much time mother and son spent together in the early years, "Evan when Brady and I moved in with Kristen, we had just gotten you back and Stefano was still around so I made you move in with us as well- so I could protect you."

"Was important to you that Belle and Brady grow up together, wasn't it?"

"Important to us both. Isabella loved you and trusted you and she knew that one day we would find our way back together again. I know she is proud of us, proud of you and how we raised Brady."

"You consider me his mother, but" Her voice cuts off and John urges her to finish, "But does Brady consider me his mom? He doesn't call me mom."

"He does at special moments. He probably would have today, if things were a little different."

"You mean if I had my memory."

"Yeah." He tightens his hold on her so that she won't consider moving away from him. Its been a long time since he has been able to hold her close like this and he isn't quite ready to give it up yet, "But he use to call you mom. As a kid. We always knew there would be a backlash or that teenage moment that would cause stress, but it didn't come until college."

"What happened?"

"He got to talking with some friends who had also lost their mother's I guess. I'm not really sure. But suddenly he wanted to know all about Isabella. Almost like he was trying to reclaim her in some way."

"And you objected?"

"Oh no no. Not at all." He stares up at the sky, searching for a star that he hasn't looked for in so long, "I was more than happy to hear it. So were you, but in the process he had a major backlash towards you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. He lashed out about how you weren't his mother and that he wouldn't let you pretend to take Isabella's place anymore. He said and did some awful things that year. He was one, as you so nicely put it to me one night, one very angry son of a bitch." He can't help the chuckle that leaves his lips, "You were right. I didn't see it at first. I tried to protect Brady and lost you in the process."

"Lost me?" Marlena turns in his arms and looks into his eyes that display the sad emotions of a time not too far back in their lives, "How did you lose me?"

Putting his hands around her neck, he leans some of his weight on her, "Well, we always fight issues side by side. Its why we've been able to survive all the problems and evils that have been tossed at us but that time, I broke away and stood by Brady and not you and I was wrong. Very wrong. It is the only time that I treated you like Brady's step-mother instead of his mom and I'm still very sorry for that."

"He was really that upset?"

"Yeah." John wipes a tear, "Don't cry. We fixed it and helped Brady- well Brady helped himself and we got our little boy back. Right now I think he is just nervous that you'll remember the wrong pieces of him. He doesn't want you to remember just those moments and be scared of him, mad at him or disappointed. Its why he's keeping his distance."

"Oh my." Her arms come up to wrap around his as the tears begin to tumble down his cheeks, "My poor boy. Everybody is hurting so badly because of me."

"No. Nobody is hurting. Worried, of course but we all understand and we all want to help. We've got some incredible kids that just want to spend time with you. Your memory or lack of it just doesn't matter to them right now. They just want to know you are alive and that you're doing okay. That's what is important to them. To me." Wiping her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, John leans down and kisses her forehead twice before pulling back and staring into her hazel eyes, "I think its time to head back to the party. Would hate to miss the cake."

Smiling up at him, "Definitely wouldn't want to miss the cake." They pause as both enjoy a quiet moment of simply staring at the other. The smiles are finally relaxed and heartfelt, but a strong breeze reminds them where they are and Marlena offers her hand to John, "Shall we?"

"Definitely."

"We accomplished something here, didn't we?"

Bringing her hand up to his lips, "That's a fact."

The couple reenters the ballroom and as John helps her off with his coat, her eyes meet another. Smiling at the young man, Marlena turns towards John, "I hope you don't mind, but I think its about time that the groom be forced to dance with the mother. "

"I don't mind at all." John steps back and watches her go. His smile is wide as the weight of the world finally feels like its lifting off his shoulders. He smiles at his son's reaction to Marlena's suggestion and feels his chest tightened at just how thankful and relieved his son looks as he takes his mother in his arms. Brady's laugh can be heard across the room, as Marlena's head is thrown back with her own laughter and before she has a chance to catch her breath, Brady twirls her around. A content sigh leaves John's lips as he stares into the flash from the photographer's camera.


End file.
